If you follow the stories of marriages on social media, you are likely to wonder if getting married is such a great idea.
What’s worse is that you begin to build mental defences against challenges in marriage that have not even happened. Challenges you are likely to attract to your future marriage, just by your thinking.
You may have heard so much about infidelity in marriage that you are already setting up yourself to either live with it or fail through it in your future marriage.
I have seen ladies who say their husbands can cheat, simply because they have heard ‘men are innately polygamous’ for so long and they believe it, painfully even in Christian circles.
You hear them say something like “he can do whatever he wants to do, the most important thing is that I don’t find out.” I’m yet to see any woman whose husband is cheating and knows (pretending not to know) and is really happy.
My point of writing today is not to isolate adultery or fornication as the only evil, but to inform you that the bad marriages that you seem to come across every now and then are the exceptions.
You might ask, if they are the exception, then why are they so popular? It’s the same reason why only bad news makes headlines. How many good things are being reported today? That good marriages are not being reported doesn’t mean they are few, it just means that they don’t get as many likes, comments, shares and screenshots as bad news in marriage does.
Don’t let all that negative media lure you into thinking marriage is full of woes. Worse still, stop using that negative media to paint the canvas of your future marriage. You are unconsciously preparing yourself for the worst; which if you do long enough, you will attract, only to find out that you really were not prepared for such things.
Some of those who say their husdands can cheat, as long as he doesn’t do it to their knowledge, when they finally get married, their mental strongholds work against them until their thoughts begin to manifest in suspision, nagging etc. Then the man begins to really cheat as they accuse him of doing and then their unhappiness really begins.
Don’t claim to prepare yourself for the worst as you prepare for marriage simply because of the negative media making the rounds.
The bad marriages you hear of, wrought with all forms of challenges; infidelity, dishonesty, lack of love and care, hostility to in-laws, spouse battery, murder, absconding, and all the sorts, are not the rule. They are the exception.
Look forward to bliss, nothing but bliss in marriage, and frontload yourself with expectations of bliss. And when the challenges come (that are sure to come), don’t think “hey God o. My own misery in marriage has started”.
No, that thinking was not given you from the Word of God for the Bible says the gifts of God make rich and add no sorrow. If your marriage is a gift from God, then claim that promise.
KNOW that God is with you and ‘this’ CAME TO PASS. Focus on the bliss of marriage. Leave the misery alone.
Marriage is honourable! That’s scripture.